Growing up with parents who struggled to manage their emotions can shape the way we understand love, trust, and connection in profound ways. Many adults only recognize the impact of emotionally immature parents later in life, often when they find themselves repeating similar patterns in relationships or parenting. These early experiences can influence how we respond to stress, how we see ourselves, and how we build bonds with others. Understanding these challenges is the first step toward healing, growth, and breaking unhealthy cycles. One powerful way to nurture change is by fostering emotional awareness in children from the very beginning. Storytelling, for example, helps young children explore feelings in a safe and relatable way, creating the foundation for empathy and resilience. At Hatching Dragons, our multicultural early years education places empathy and cultural understanding at the heart of learning. By weaving global perspectives into our curriculum, we help families raise children who are emotionally aware, adaptable, and prepared to thrive in a connected world.
What Does It Mean to Have Emotionally Immature Parents?
Emotionally immature parents often function with limited self-awareness, allowing their own unmet needs to take priority over their children’s emotional well-being. This dynamic can create an environment where feelings are ignored, minimized, or even turned into sources of conflict. Research shows that around 18–20% of people worldwide report experiencing emotional neglect in childhood, and among psychiatric populations, that number rises to over 40%. While such parents may appear capable and responsible in other areas of life, they often struggle deeply with emotional closeness and consistency. Psychologists describe this as a pattern rooted in unresolved childhood experiences and unhealed traumas, which can carry forward into the next generation if not addressed.. For children growing up in these households, the lack of emotional safety and support can leave lasting impressions that shape self-esteem, relationships, and resilience well into adulthood.
This type of immaturity is not always easy to recognize. It can surface in subtle ways, such as a parent who avoids difficult conversations or leans on their child for emotional support. Over time, children raised in these environments often learn to silence or suppress their own feelings in order to keep the peace. While this survival strategy may reduce conflict in the moment, it limits the development of healthy coping skills and emotional expression later in life. Recognizing this dynamic is an important first step toward healing, because it shifts the weight of responsibility away from the child and places it on the broader family patterns and unresolved issues that shaped the parent.
Book Online TourBook A VisitSigns of Emotional Immaturity in Parents
Emotional immaturity in parents can reveal itself in many ways, often leaving children confused about what to expect from their caregivers. One common sign is emotional volatility, where a parent’s reactions are far more intense than the situation requires. Another is the tendency to dismiss or invalidate feelings with phrases such as “You’re too sensitive.” Some parents may even engage in role reversal, expecting their child to take on adult responsibilities or serve as a confidant. Narcissistic behaviors, like constantly redirecting conversations back to themselves, can also be present. A lack of accountability is another indicator, where parents struggle to admit mistakes or refuse to apologize. Inconsistent affection is equally damaging, creating uncertainty and insecurity in children who are left questioning whether love and support will be available when they need it most.
Who Is Most Affected by Parental Emotional Neglect?
While all children can be impacted, those with innate sensitivity or in high-pressure family dynamics often feel it most acutely. Research highlights that individuals from culturally diverse backgrounds may face additional layers, where emotional expression is stifled by societal norms. Adult children from these homes frequently report higher rates of anxiety and relationship difficulties, underscoring the need for targeted support
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Common Struggles Adult Children Face in Relationships
For many adult children of emotionally immature parents, early experiences continue to shape how they connect with others well into adulthood. It is not uncommon for them to be drawn to partners who mirror parental behaviors, unintentionally recreating familiar cycles of dysfunction. Vulnerability can also feel risky, especially when past attempts to share emotions were dismissed or minimized. Research has found that childhood neglect more than doubles the risk of developing depression in adulthood, and is strongly associated with anxiety, low self-esteem, and difficulties in relationships. These struggles often extend beyond romantic partnerships and influence friendships, family ties, and even professional relationships. Fear of rejection may drive them to over-give in an attempt to secure acceptance, while others cope by withdrawing to avoid disappointment altogether. Understanding these patterns is a powerful step toward building healthier, more balanced connections.
For instance, someone raised in such an environment might hesitate to express needs, fearing they will be seen as burdensome. This can result in unbalanced relationships where resentment builds over time. Recognizing these struggles is crucial, as it allows individuals to seek healthier dynamics and model better behaviors for their own children.
How Adult Children Struggle with Boundaries
For adult children of emotionally immature parents, boundaries often become one of the most difficult areas to navigate. Growing up without healthy examples can leave them unsure of how to balance closeness and protection in relationships. Some may enforce rigid walls, keeping others at a distance to avoid being hurt, while others may struggle to set any boundaries at all, leaving them vulnerable to exploitation or resentment. Relearning boundaries as an adult is a gradual process that starts with small, intentional steps. Even practicing saying a simple “no” in low-pressure situations can help build the confidence needed to assert limits in more significant areas of life. Over time, these small acts of self-advocacy can transform relationships and foster a stronger sense of emotional safety.
Why Guilt and Shame Affect Self-Esteem
Guilt and shame are two of the most common emotional burdens carried by adult children of emotionally immature parents. Guilt often takes root when children believe their feelings or needs were the cause of family conflict, while shame convinces them they are fundamentally flawed. Together, these emotions can erode self-esteem and manifest in adulthood as imposter syndrome, chronic self-doubt, or a persistent sense of inadequacy. Healing begins with reframing these experiences through self-compassion. Simple practices such as acknowledging achievements without minimizing them or allowing space for mistakes without harsh judgment can help rebuild a healthier sense of self-worth.
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Why Emotional Awareness Matters for Healing
Emotional awareness is one of the most powerful tools for breaking free from the cycles created by emotionally immature parenting. By learning to identify and process feelings that were once dismissed or ignored, adults can respond with clarity rather than react impulsively. Since over 40% of adults with psychiatric diagnoses report experiencing childhood emotional neglect, fostering emotional awareness and healing is not just beneficial, it is addressing one of the most common but overlooked drivers of lifelong emotional struggles This ability strengthens resilience, fosters healthier communication, and interrupts inherited patterns of dysfunction. For parents, developing emotional awareness ensures children receive validation and support, helping them grow into confident and secure individuals.
At Hatching Dragons, emotional education is woven into our curriculum to nurture empathy and resilience from the very beginning. Activities encourage young learners to recognize, name, and navigate their emotions in a safe and supportive environment. By integrating these skills early, we help prevent the long-term effects of emotional neglect and create stronger, healthier family dynamics.
What Experts Say About Childhood Emotional Neglect
Experts like psychologist Jonice Webb emphasize that childhood emotional neglect often leaves invisible scars. These scars may not show outwardly but can affect how adults regulate emotions, build empathy, and connect with others. Many report feelings of emptiness or disconnection, yet with therapy and intentional self-work, these skills can be rebuilt. Recognizing neglect as the absence of emotional validation, rather than overt harm, helps adult children reframe their past and move toward healing.
How to Develop Emotional Intelligence as an Adult
Developing emotional intelligence in adulthood is possible with consistent practice. Mindfulness exercises, such as meditation, create space to observe thoughts and emotions without judgment. Journaling with prompts like “What am I feeling right now?” builds emotional vocabulary, while asking for feedback from trusted friends or mentors strengthens interpersonal awareness. Over time, these habits shift automatic reactivity into thoughtful engagement, allowing adults to break inherited patterns and respond with greater clarity and compassion.
Children’s Emotions and Feelings: Early Signs Parents Miss
Children often communicate emotions through actions long before they can articulate them with words. A tantrum may signal frustration, while clinginess may reveal underlying fear or insecurity. Emotionally immature parents may misinterpret these cues as defiance, missing opportunities to guide emotional regulation. Early interventions, such as naming emotions during play or modeling calm responses, help children learn that feelings are valid and manageable.
At Hatching Dragons, our educators observe and support these expressions daily, guiding children to articulate their emotions within multicultural contexts that honor diversity and empathy.
Why Parents Miss Emotional Cues in Childhood
Parents may miss emotional cues for many reasons. Work pressures, personal stress, and their own unresolved immaturity often contribute to oversights. In some families, cultural expectations discourage open discussions about feelings, reinforcing silence instead of validation. These gaps, though unintentional, can shape a child’s emotional world for years to come.
How Unmet Childhood Needs Shape Adulthood
When childhood needs go unmet, adults often carry forward deep insecurities. This can influence both career and relationships. Some overachieve in pursuit of approval, while others avoid commitment out of fear of rejection. By recognizing these patterns and practicing new ways of relating, adults can begin to rewrite their scripts and create lives rooted in authenticity rather than old wounds.
Children’s Stories About Feelings: Teaching Emotional Growth
Stories are powerful tools for helping children understand emotions. A story where a young dragon learns to name his anger during a multicultural festival, for example, makes abstract feelings tangible. Narratives like these create safe spaces for children to explore emotions while mirroring real-life scenarios.
At Hatching Dragons, storytelling is a cornerstone of our programs. By weaving emotional education into multicultural tales, we spark meaningful discussions and help children expand their emotional vocabulary.
What a Feelings Book Can Teach Children
Books about feelings teach that all emotions are valid and temporary. They introduce coping strategies such as deep breathing or seeking support from a trusted adult, helping children develop independence and resilience. These stories also normalize emotional ups and downs, reducing shame and confusion.
How Storytelling Builds Emotional Vocabulary
Through storytelling, children are introduced to words like “overwhelmed” or “disappointed.” Having the language to name emotions empowers children to express themselves more clearly, which in turn reduces frustration and behavioral outbursts. Over time, this practice fosters stronger communication and healthier relationships.
How Children’s Books About Feelings Build Resilience
Children’s books about emotions not only validate experiences but also model resilience. Characters often face setbacks and overcome challenges, showing children that difficulties can be navigated and learned from. This mental toughness is essential for handling life’s ups and downs, from playground conflicts to future workplace stressors.
At Hatching Dragons, incorporating reading into daily routines, including during holiday clubs, reinforces these lessons and equips children with lifelong tools for emotional strength.
Why Reading About Feelings Boosts Mental Health
Reading about emotions reduces isolation by helping children see that others share similar experiences. This sense of connection supports mental health by fostering empathy, reducing loneliness, and lowering long-term risks of anxiety and depression.
Best Practices for Parents Using Feelings Books
To make the most of feelings-based stories, parents should engage actively. This means pausing during a story to ask how the child relates to the character or connecting the lesson to events from the child’s own day. These conversations strengthen understanding and deepen parent-child connection, reinforcing emotional safety at home.
Expert Advice: Healing Paths for Adult Children
Experts recommend a holistic approach to healing from emotionally immature parenting. This often includes therapy, self-reflection, and supportive communities. By combining personal growth with professional guidance, adults can reclaim emotional autonomy and create new, healthier patterns in their own lives and families.
Therapy and Support for Adult Children
Therapies such as EMDR, cognitive-behavioral approaches, or group therapy can help process unresolved trauma. For those seeking self-guided support, books and workshops provide valuable insights. Support groups also create community for adults who may have long felt isolated in their struggles.
How to Break the Cycle of Emotional Immaturity
Breaking the cycle requires reflection, intentional parenting, and education. Adults can practice mindful responses, learn about healthy boundaries, and seek communities that support growth. At Hatching Dragons, we provide opportunities for parents to connect, reflect, and develop emotionally present parenting practices that nurture future generations.
Frequently Asked Questions;
What Are Examples of Emotionally Immature Parents?
Emotionally immature parents may display erratic behavior, fail to meet their children’s emotional needs, or avoid dealing with their own feelings. Common traits include excessive criticism, emotional neglect, or using children to fulfill their own emotional needs.
How Do You Heal as an Adult Child?
Healing as an adult child of emotionally immature parents involves recognizing the emotional neglect or lack of emotional support, seeking professional help, and developing your emotional intelligence. This process includes learning to express your emotions in healthy ways, building stronger boundaries, and forgiving yourself and others.
Can Children’s Books on Feelings Help Parents Too?
Yes, children's books on emotions can also be beneficial for parents.
as excellent resources for learning how to better understand and manage emotions. Reading these books allows parents to reflect on their emotional responses and can foster conversations about emotional health within the family.
Building Emotional Resilience Together
Helping children understand and express their feelings is a lifelong process. By using storytelling, engaging in open emotional conversations, and modeling emotional regulation, parents can provide children with the tools they need to grow into emotionally aware and resilient adults. For those who are adults still healing from emotional immaturity in their upbringing, recognizing and addressing emotional challenges can be empowering, setting the stage for positive emotional growth and self-awareness.
If you’re interested in more resources to help you and your child develop emotional intelligence and resilience, check out our other blog posts on being a present parent and emotionally present parenting.
Build Emotional Vocabulary with Free Feelings Flashcards
Support your child’s emotional development at home with our printable flashcards. Use them to help your child recognise, name, and talk about their feelings. Download below:
Negative Feelings FlashcardsPositive Feelings Flashcards
Use these cards during playtime, storytime, or whenever your child is learning to express how they feel. They're perfect for building emotional vocabulary in a simple and engaging way.
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References for Further Reading
- A Guide for Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents - Attachment Project. (2024, May 10). Attachment Project. https://www.attachmentproject.com/psychology/emotionally-immature-parents/adult-children/
- Barlia, A. (2025, August 8). The Impacts of Emotionally immature Parents — therapy with AB. Therapy With AB. https://www.therapywithab.com/blog/affectsofemotionallyimmatureparents
- Counseling, T. a. S. C. (2024, June 28). Coping Strategies for Adult Children of immature Parents | Therapy in St. Petersburg, Fl. Sunshine City Counseling. https://www.sunshinecitycounseling.com/blog/coping-strategies-for-adult-children-of-immature-parents
- Davin, K. (2025, September 5). 7 Common challenges for adults raised by emotionally immature parents. Kristin Davin Psy.D., Licensed Psychologist. https://www.reflectionsfromacrossthecouch.com/blog/7-common-challenges-for-adults-raised-by-emotionally-immature-parents
- Lcpc, J. M. (2021, November 18). 2. They never take responsibility. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mental-wealth/202111/4-signs-that-a-parent-is-emotionally-immature
- Webb, J., PhD. (2023, October 4). Emotional neglect slows kids’ absorption of emotional intelligence skills. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/childhood-emotional-neglect/202306/childhood-emotional-neglect-hampers-emotional-intelligence
- Cgp, M. P. M. P. M. L. (2025, April 29). Understanding, coping, and healing with those closest to you. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/being-your-best-self/202504/handling-relationships-with-emotionally-immature-parents
- How to Improve Your Emotional Intelligence - Professional & Executive Development | Harvard DCE. (2025, February 24). Professional & Executive Development | Harvard DCE. https://professional.dce.harvard.edu/blog/how-to-improve-your-emotional-intelligence/
- Lamothe, C. (2025, February 4). How to improve communication in a relationship. Healthline. https://www.healthline.com/health/lack-of-communication
- Madsen, P. (2024, August 17). A Comprehensive Guide to Attachment Therapy with IFS and EMDR. Sea Change Psychotherapy - Atlanta Counseling. https://seachangepsychotherapy.com/posts/attachment-therapy-with-ifs-and-emdr/
- Raypole, C. (2024, October 25). What to know about repressed emotions. Healthline. https://www.healthline.com/health/repressed-emotions
- Rosana Carvalho Silva, Francesco Oliva, Stefano Barlati, Giulia Perusi, Mattia Meattini, Elona Dashi, Nicoletta Colombi, Alberto Vaona, Sara Carletto, Alessandra Minelli,Childhood neglect, the neglected trauma. A systematic review and meta-analysis of its prevalence in psychiatric disorders, Psychiatry Research, Volume 335, 2024,
- Glickman, E. A., Choi, K. W., Lussier, A. A., Smith, B. J., & Dunn, E. C. (2021). Childhood Emotional Neglect and Adolescent Depression: Assessing the protective role of peer social support in a longitudinal birth cohort. Frontiers in Psychiatry, 12. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyt.2021.68117
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